There are all kinds of grooms out there ranging from the completely uninterested to the guys who try a little too hard. But let’s face it, the uninterested seem to be the predominate force, and there’s really no good reason for that. An enormous percentage of men are under the impression that their brides don’t want them to help at all when it comes to wedding planning. This is absolutely true with many women, but it is certainly not a gold standard.
So how can a groom be the best that he can be? Take a look at the list below and make sure that when your bride talks about you as a groom she makes all of her friends insanely jealous.
Above All, Care
This isn’t as obvious as you might think. The simplest things make it very clear that you don’t care. Be alert and at attention when she is talking to you about wedding planning decisions and stay off of your phone. She’s not asking you to care about something that doesn’t involve you, she’s asking your opinion about the day that you’ll commit your whole life to her. If you don’t care about this centerpiece decision, then you aren’t taking the day as seriously as she is, which speaks volumes to her.
Don’t Stick Your Nose Where it Doesn’t Belong
You’re not a wedding expert and acting like one doesn’t make you man of the year. You have your areas that you can take control: your suit, your groomsmen, the DJ, the photographers and the honeymoon. If you decide to take a step up and help out, don’t go crazy and start arranging flowers. There is such a thing as too many cooks, so be careful to make sure you’re actively involved while not taking anything away from her that she’s been dreaming of since she was 10.
Don’t Pretend to be Something You’re Not
Have you been studying wedding trends for the last two years? Do you know what the Pantone color of the year is? Did you even know that was a thing? Not likely, no. So don’t read this article and decide you need to be to most excited wedding planning groom ever! Just be involved, that’s what she needs.
Remember How Important This is to Her and Try to Predict How Important It Will Be to You in the Future
If you don’t already know, you should be aware that every single detail is huge for her. This isn’t a crazy bridezilla thing, there’s just one chance to get it done right, and she wants to look back at it for the rest of her life with no regrets. That’s what’s at stake here: a lifetime of looking back and remembering how perfect (or imperfect) it was. It may not be clear now, but try to look forward a little bit. After 10 or 20 years when life has gotten way more complicated and hopefully a lot better, you’ll have this one day to look back on and remember how it all started. What will you wish you had done with your groomsmen that morning? What part of the day will be most important to you then? It’s hard to know, so put your best foot forward everywhere you can.
She has help for this including her mother, best friends and a literal team of stylists who are all in charge of making her look fantastic. You, on the other hand, are largely responsible for how you look, which is an absolutely terrible idea. If anyone needs a team of people teaching them how to look good and making it happen, it’s a man. She deserves to be as blown away as you will be (and trust me you will be) when she sees you for a first time that day. Grab a GQ, stop by your local menswear shop, visit The Groom’s Guide and educate yourself. No one is expecting you to know how to be the most dapper guy in the room, just listen to the experts telling you how to do it.
Speaking of education, it doesn’t just stop at men’s fashion. She’s got at least a few bridal magazines laying around the house and more than a few wedding planning blogs on her radar, it won’t kill you to take a look at them. Learn a thing or two about the types of things brides care about, and you may even find something you can take an interest in. Mostly, it will just help you to be aware of what she is going through. And here’s a tip: make sure she sees you doing it, she will melt into a puddle, while you’ll get points just for reading a magazine.
Know Your Vendors
Have their numbers and info ready, don’t wait for her to give them to you. Make sure that on the wedding day you are capable of handling any and all last minute decisions or disasters. What would be amazing is if something went wrong, and she never even knew about it. So ask her for the information needed, and tell her that you want to be in charge of handling things on the day of so that she can focus on the special day.
Delegate Your Guys and Make Sure They Do Their Jobs
You are a package deal and the performance of your groomsmen reflects on you. So pick your most responsible guys and give them jobs. This is important for a couple reasons: there is too much for you to do alone, and you don’t want to miss anything. To be honest this is your day too. You should get to enjoy yourself and take a moment to appreciate how amazing it all is, which you can’t do if you are literally taking care of everything. So have your guys help you get things done and most importantly, make sure they actually do it.
Don’t Be an Idiot the Night Before
Very few people these days are actually having their bachelor parties the night before the wedding, which is a good thing. I heard a story once about a groom who passed out and his friends colored him in blue permanent marker. The next day his bride got a little bit more Smurf than she was expecting at the end of the aisle. Don’t be that guy. Even if you’re not dealing with a new skin color, don’t make yourself have to deal with a headache all day either. It’s very easy to get carried away because you’re having so much fun, you’re so excited for tomorrow and all your best friends and closest family members are in town. Have a few drinks, get to bed on time and be ready for the big day.
I couldn’t put it more simply than that. Be there for her throughout the planning process and especially on your wedding day. Look out for her. Watch for stress triggers and make sure she knows that you are her rock that day. Be an unfailing source of strength, support and comfort as she goes through this whole process.
A wedding resource for the guys. Finally. At The Groom’s Guide, we aim to educate the grooms of the world. Most guys would like to have an active interest in their wedding planning, but just think they’re not suited for it. With a little help from The Groom’s Guide, you can be a big part of the day and help your bride plan the perfect wedding. And we’ll make sure you look good doing it too.
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