Expert Advice Things Wedding Guests Shouldn't Do

Expert Advice: 19 Things Wedding Guests Shouldn’t Do

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When you RSVP to a wedding, you also accept the responsibility of being a good guest by following the implied and stated wedding day etiquette.

From understanding the dress code to sitting in your assigned seat, the role of a guest is to contribute positively to the couple’s big day rather than take away from it.

We interviewed Tampa Bay’s top wedding planners, photographers, and florists, and here are the top wedding etiquette mistakes they see guests making.

Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice

“Wedding planning can be one of the most stressful times for a couple. The last thing a couple needs is unsolicited or warranted advice coming from a million places. Support them through this journey, and if they make decisions that you don’t agree with, that’s fine. It’s their day, and it should go exactly how they want it to. If they ask for your opinion, then that’s the time to give it, but that’s the only time it should be given.” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“Don’t count yourselves as the exception! The couple spends a lot of time deciding on wording for invitations, programs, and their wedding website, whether it’s making hotel recommendations for out-of-town guests, adults-only reception requests, or pleas for an unplugged ceremony. Please don’t throw in your two cents or think that the request doesn’t apply to you. The couple may have a room block pre-setup at the hotel the wedding is being hosted at, or they are getting ready in – please don’t throw in other recommendations or put down the chosen hotel.” -Jessica Ralph, Parties A’La Carte

Don’t Forget to RVSP on Time

“RSVP…on time! Oftentimes, guests assume that the couple knows they are coming. Bridal party, cousins, work bestie, whomever you are, return that RSVP card. RSVP cards are sent with a return addressed envelope, pre-stamped, don’t let that money go to waste! Some invitation services offer to keep track of RSVPs, and they don’t know to count your bestie of 25 years. Those numbers dictate so much in the budget: food and beverage numbers, rentals, and space, meaning every RSVP counts, so send it in and on time!” -Jessica Ralph, Parties A’La Carte

“Every wedding has a timeline of due dates that have to be adhered to so that everything can flow smoothly and be prepared for in advance. The couple has deadlines they have to meet as far as final guest count, final meal selections, escort cards, seating chart, etc. If the couple has to call you to ask about your RSVP after the due date, that’s taking time away from a million other things they are preparing. Don’t assume the couple knows you’re coming, what your meal preferences are, or if you have dietary restrictions. Life changes when you have a child, and this especially applies to big events like weddings. -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“Please respond by the deadline given for responses. This is so important for the couple to be able to submit their final guest count, which directly impacts things like meal amounts, chair/linen/tabletop rentals, and the ability to finalize seating assignments (and personalized escort cards/signage)accordingly. When you RSVP, if you have any food allergies or dietary restrictions, please share those with the couple. Oftentimes, severe allergies or sensitivities can’t be catered to with too short notice, and we want you to enjoy the day and food with no issues.” -Amber Schryver, Oh My Occasions

“Don’t show up if your RSVP was ‘no’ or you failed to RSVP at all. It costs the couple and their families a lot of money to provide their guests with a beautiful evening, and they are still paying for those guests that don’t show. There isn’t a place setting for you, and the kitchen hasn’t accounted for you. It’s disruptive and rude. You had weeks or even months to respond. Everything is planned out based on the decision you made to respond “no” or not at all. The same applies for bringing an uninvited plus one.” -Karen Cerboni, EventFull Weddings

Don’t Bring Uninvited Guests (Including Children)

 “RSVP in a timely manner. We know that sometimes you get that card, tuck it away, and forget to send it off. But, with skyrocketing wedding costs, most likely, the couple has trimmed their guest list and would love to add a few of those people back in if you’re not able to attend. On the same note, don’t RSVP with a ‘+1’ if they were not included in the invitations. The couple has already spent a lot of time trying to figure out a way for everyone to have a +1 if at all possible. The same applies to bringing kids; it might not be appropriate for the venue, fit in their budget, or it might just be their personal preference.” -Tammy Waterman, Special Moments Event Planning

“While weddings can be a great way of getting the entire family together, not every wedding is ‘child-friendly,’ and the couple does not have to change their event to cater to their guests. If the couple wants to focus on having a party with drinking and dancing, they may not want to have to worry about being on their best behavior in front of the kids. They may not want to risk a crying baby interrupting their ceremony, or they may be limited in their guest count and want to focus on friends and family who will remember the event, whereas a child might not. Whatever the reason, if the couple states the wedding is ‘child-free’ or if the invite does not include your child’s name or phrasing like ‘ Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family,” please do not assume they are invited or must be accommodated. There are plenty of reasons why a couple may have a child-free wedding, so please respect this decision and plan a babysitter ahead of time.” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“If invited as a guest to a wedding, you should only bring a +1 or additional person if the couple has instructed you to do so. Though it may be tempting to bring a spouse or friend if the couple has specifically requested only your presence, be respectful of that. The reason for the single invite may not be personal—cutting down on the number of additional guests and plus-ones allows couples to stick to their budget for seating and catering. If unexpected guests attend, there may not be enough seats, and the couple will be charged additionally for the higher meal count.” -Tara Zimmerman, Limelight Photography

“When your invitation is addressed to just you, don’t ask to bring a guest or plus one if you were not given one. If your friends or family decide they don’t want kids at their wedding, respect that it is their wedding day and don’t ask or push for a special reconsideration or exception.” -Lauren Gertz, MDP Events

Don’t Dress Inappropriately (Or Wear White)

“When a couple chooses a venue, decor, florals, etc. they usually have a particular ‘feel’ or ‘vibe’ they are going for, and as a guest, you should dress accordingly. Most wedding invitations or websites will have details on a dress code so that guests are appropriately dressed. Unless otherwise stated by the couple (both, not one or the other), do not wear any colors that could remotely resemble a typical bridal dress color. Whether your attire is a knee-length dress, a floor-length dress, or a suit, these colors are meant to be reserved for the couple. Wearing something that resembles the color or style of a wedding dress can be seen as slander to the bride, and if that’s exactly what you want to do, save yourself and everyone the grief and just don’t go to the wedding. There is a whole spectrum of colors to choose from, and that creamy lace dress that you look amazing in and think is ‘perfect’ for this event can have its moment to shine…on another day. Also, for certain cultures, these colors are used for mourning and are not considered appropriate for a happy celebration such as a wedding. This doesn’t necessarily mean you must be decked out to the nines for every event, but dressing according to the dress code would mean you won’t show up to a garden wedding in a full-length satin gown in the Florida heat. It goes vice versa in that you wouldn’t want to show up to a black-tie event (that usually comes with a higher price tag for the couple) in a sundress that is more appropriate for a picnic at the park. Adhere to the dress code and when in doubt, ask the couple for any specifics they can give.” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“Dress to impress. It is better to dress up than to dress down on a wedding day. If you are unsure about the dress code, check the wedding website and formal invitation. If you do not know what the dress code means, then a quick Google search can give you better ideas of what that dress code entails. Always dress it up a little bit more than you think.” -Delaney Driver, Wilder Mind Events

“Dress appropriately, and of course, do not wear white! In addition, make sure your attire is for a wedding and not a nightclub. You will be in the background of the couple’s photos that they have paid for and will cherish forever.” -Cindy Dervech, Breezin’ Entertainment

“Leave the sunglasses at home. I know it’s Florida, and you are used to wearing them all the time. Wedding guests should consider leaving their sunglasses behind to fully engage in the heartfelt moments of the ceremony. By revealing their eyes, guests can connect more intimately with the emotions and expressions shared during this special occasion. Moreover, this small gesture ensures that everyone’s faces are visible in the photos, preserving the authenticity and beauty of the day for the couple to treasure in their memories.” -Amber Yonker, Amber Yonker Photography

“Remember the attire for the wedding and check the invitation or wedding website. If the wedding is cocktail attire, don’t wear jeans or casual attire; this is something that should be understood. We get you may not love to dress up, but be respectful!” -Lauren Gertz, MDP Events

“Kindly adhere to the dress code requested, whether that’s a general guideline about the style of suit or length of dress, but also following any color scheme or shades that were asked.” -Amber Schryver, Oh My Occasions

Don’t Bother the Couple The Day of The Wedding

“Do not, I repeat, do not text the couple on the wedding day. This is an absolute hard no. If you have information that needs to be communicated, go through someone other than the couple. If something comes up and you are bailing on the day and are no longer attending, there is literally nothing we can do about it since it’s the day of the wedding, and everything is paid for. Telling them you can’t make it will most likely irritate them, make them sad, or stress out. Text the wedding planner or a trusted member of the family, not the couple. Better yet, don’t even text them at all about wedding questions until you have looked through the wedding website. The wedding website will become your best friend and, if done correctly, will have every piece of information you will need to know. What should you wear? What time is the ceremony? Are there room blocks? Is this an indoor or outdoor wedding? All of these questions should be answered under the FAQ page and throughout the wedding website. Please read over all of this before you reach out with any questions you might have so that the couple is not repeating themselves.” -Delaney Driver, Wilder Mind Events

“Don’t crash the bride’s getting ready room. It is very common to see friends outside of the immediate bridal party trying to stop by the bridal getting ready room to wish her well, hang out before the ceremony, or try to grab a photo before. If you weren’t invited to hang out with the bride while she gets ready or beforehand, wait to share your congratulations at the wedding.” -Tammy Waterman, Special Moments Event Planning

“Weddings can be so exciting, and wanting to congratulate and show love to the couple is a natural feeling. Keep the warm comments and affection for the reception once dinner is over, though. There is a lot going on prior to the event, and while you want the couple to know you’re thinking of them, most are busy getting ready and handling their nerves. They’ll appreciate you letting them have this time for themselves since they will be the center of attention for the rest of the day. Also, if you have any questions, call someone else who’s attending or someone from the bridal party before dialing up the couple. Most likely, they won’t have their phone on them in the first place but, again, they will have a lot on their mind as is, and the less they have to deal with, the better.” – Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

Don’t Show Up Late

“Show up early for the ceremony. You should always show up no later than 15 minutes before the ceremony time. If the ceremony is at 5 p.m., do not show up at 4:55 p.m. because, by the time you park and find the ceremony, you are late. We bring our couples down the aisle promptly, and a lot of times, we are delayed because guests are showing up and trying to find seats right when the ceremony is going to begin. You could be the literal reason that a ceremony does not start on time, which is extremely inconsiderate and rude. More often than not, we will start without you, and then you will be ‘that person’ who is trying to sneak into the ceremony without being noticed because you were late. If you want to be a gold star guest, arrive at the venue about 30 minutes before so you can take your time to park, find the ceremony spot, and have about 15-20 minutes to spare and mingle.” -Delaney Driver, Wilder Mind Events

“Timelines are strict on wedding days, and if there was ever a day to be on time, or preferably early, the wedding day is it. Time slots with vendors and venues are booked and sectioned out, and if you’re late, there could be a chance you miss part of the event and have to wait off to the side or in another area. Most weddings allow for a ‘prelude’ that runs thirty minutes prior to the ceremony start time. This is the window you should arrive in. It’s best to arrive as early as possible in this window, and cutting it close can result in the ceremony starting late, which potentially means the entire event could get pushed back/ shortened. Be safe and plan to be seated fifteen minutes before the ceremony start time.” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“Try to be on time. We know things happen, but it’s very awkward and more disruptive than you might realize when you and your entire entourage try to ‘sneak’ into the wedding ceremony unnoticed.” -Tammy Waterman, Special Moments Event Planning

“More and more weddings are taking place at ‘non-traditional’ locations: farms, beaches, retreats, lakeside. Therein, transportation and parking are sometimes a challenge, or the ceremony itself is in a location that requires a long-distance walk, shuttle, does not have a physical address, etc., vs. pulling up right in front of the chapel. Plan accordingly, map out the route on your phone in advance, and arrive early (you can always get there too early and sit in the a/c while waiting). Always anticipate traffic (typically, weddings take place on a busy Saturday) and do your best to be a courteous guest. Everyone appreciates it, especially the vendors and the couple!” -Brandon Wheeler, Gulf Beach Weddings

“Be respectful on the wedding day! Don’t be late for the ceremony. We all know there can be last-minute issues, outfit changes, or traffic. Plan and get to the ceremony on time! Also, get to the guest transportation on time so the trolley or bus doesn’t have to wait for you and make all the other guests late to then push the ceremony time behind.” -Lauren Gertz, MDP Events

“Arrive early, follow venue instructions, carpool or Uber if possible, respect reserved spaces, utilize valet services if available, and adhere to local parking regulations to avoid any disruptions and ensure a smooth parking experience at the wedding.” -Anna Shvaykova, Breezin Weddings

Don’t Get In the Photographer/Videographer’s Shot or Interrupt Their Workflow

“We need to have a little chat about something super important: not getting on the bad side of the wedding photographer. All too often, we see guests who are incessantly taking photos during critical parts of the day that our couples have spent a lot of money for us to capture. When those epic moments go down during the ceremony or reception, like the vows or the couple’s first dance, please resist the temptation to whip out your phone or tablet like a boss and lean over in the aisle. Seriously, it’s like blocking the photographer’s shot with your own personal mobile fortress. They’ve got the skills and gear to capture the magic, so let them do their thing without you accidentally photobombing the frame with your tech. Some of the most amazing moments get blocked or are impossible to capture because guests are trying to capture them. Keep those gadgets in your pocket or purse, and let the pros work their magic. Trust me, the couple will be grateful for those pristine memories untainted by your unintended cameo. Also, if you are an amateur or professional photographer, for that matter, be courteous of the hired photographer who is there! The couple hired them for a reason, and most professional photographers have a statement in their contract saying that there are to be no other ‘photographers’ or professional equipment used by anyone else during the event. Enjoy those weddings you get to attend; if you are behind a camera, you’re going to miss out!” -Carrie Wildes, Carrie Wildes Photography

“The ‘unplugged ceremony is a big one that we often see ignored. Photography is a good percentage of the budget, and most photography contracts include ‘exclusivity’ clauses, meaning you can’t have other ‘shooters’ beyond them. ‘Oh, I am the cousin; it’s okay, as they pull out their expensive, professional camera and jump in between the hired photographer and the first kiss. Photographers know how to maneuver their way through a crowd to get a ‘money shot,’ but when they are outmaneuvered by a guest with an iPhone camera, important shots that may or may not have been requested by the couple are missed.” -Jessica Ralph, Parties A’La Carte

“Something a wedding guest should never do is disregard the couple’s wishes. Whether it be the event start time and coming late, ignoring the dress code, or a ceremony free from phones in the aisle, as a guest, you should respect the wishes of a couple that you agreed to show up for and celebrate. If the couple asks for an ‘unplugged ceremony,’ keep your phones, iPads, non-professional cameras, etc. away. This ask isn’t coming from the photographers but from a couple who simply wants you to stay engaged with them. When they look out into the audience, they want to see faces, not phone cases.” -Shannon Dewitt, Dewitt for Love Photography

“One thing that drives me crazy is seeing guests on their phones at weddings. People are gathered there to witness a beautiful moment between two people, not to see everyone’s faces buried in screens. It’s about showing respect for the couple and their special day. Plus, constantly checking your phone can be a major distraction. Let professional photographers do their job without guests getting in their way trying to capture the perfect shot. Put the phone down, enjoy the moment, and be present. Show some love and support for the couple instead of being absorbed in your digital world.” -Arron McNeile, McNeile Photography

“Weddings are exciting, and many times, the guests don’t get to interact with the couple until after the ceremony, but timelines exist for a reason. When guests rush over to the couple right after the ceremony for hellos and hugs, it causes delays in the family and couple photos. We only have planned a short amount of time for pictures before the reception, so crowding the couple cuts into the photo time they paid for and causes stress on the couple since they don’t want to be rude. Waiting until after they are introduced at the reception would be much easier on the vendors and the couple.” -Joy Hmielewski, Joyelan Photography

“Don’t ignore the unplugged wedding sign at the ceremony. If you see this sign posted, it’s a message from the couple. They don’t want guests taking photos during their ceremony. It’s disrespectful to ignore that. The ceremony should be the most meaningful part of the entire evening when the couple is sharing intimate stories and sacred vows with each other and their guests. There will be plenty of time afterward for photos, and you can go on to their photographer’s website later to get a photo of the ceremony.” -Karen Cerboni, EventFull Weddings

“Please put the phones down. As a wedding photographer, I’m photographing the couple walking down the aisle, and in the same photograph, someone is sticking their phone in the middle of the aisle, ultimately ruining the intimate moment for the couple. Encouraging guests to put away their phones during the ceremony ensures that they are fully present in the moment, soaking in the love and emotions being shared. It helps create a serene and distraction-free environment, allowing everyone to connect on a deeper level with the couple and the significance of the occasion. Additionally, it enables me as the photographer to capture genuine, unobstructed moments that truly reflect the essence of the ceremony, creating lasting memories for the couple to cherish.” -Amber Yonker, Amber Yonker Photography

“As a guest at a wedding, your job is to enjoy the day! Be present and appreciate each and every moment! Don’t miss it by watching it through your phone screen. We, the professional wedding vendors, will be there to capture each and every moment so they are captured beautifully for you and the couple. You can just enjoy the day!” -Kelly Morfopoulos, K&K Photography

“If you’re attending a wedding, please note that it is common for couples to take family portraits following the ceremony. Often, while on a tight timeline, the couple (along with family and the bridal party) will jump into photos immediately after the ceremony. As a guest, it may be tempting to say a quick hello to the newlyweds before their photos, but many guests may have the same idea, which can pull the couple away for a significant amount of time. Enjoy cocktail hour instead, as the couple will often make rounds during the reception to greet guests.” -Tara Zimmerman, Limelight Photography

Don’t Disrespect the Venue

“When attending a wedding, it’s crucial to respect the venue. Whether the celebration takes place in a grand cathedral, a charming garden, or a cozy banquet hall, remember that the setting is often a deeply personal choice for the couple. Avoid causing any damage, follow the venue’s rules, and be mindful of your surroundings. Treat the space with the same reverence and care that the couple has for it, ensuring their special day remains beautiful and stress-free. Disrespecting the venue not only disrupts the ambiance but can also incur additional costs for the newlyweds. Let’s help make their day as perfect as possible by honoring their chosen setting.” -Tiffany Haas, J.C. Newman Cigar Factory

Don’t Enter the Reception Too Soon

“Do not go into the reception room until you are told to do so. There is normally a lot of setup still happening, or the photographer is trying to get detailed photos of the room before everyone comes into it. Oftentimes, the couple does not get to see their reception space before everyone is in it, so these photos are really special so that they can cherish and look back on the day. If setup is happening, or a room flip is going on, you will be in the way, which is dangerous to you and the staff. During a room flip, there are tables being rolled out and stacks of chairs being moved, and if you are in the way, you are slowing down the short time that we have for a room flip and also putting yourself in danger of having things drop on you or be run into.” -Delaney Driver, Wilder Mind Events

“The intricacies of a wedding have a whole side that is completely behind the scenes. The venue, vendors, and couple have been planning and coordinating everything to ensure the day runs smoothly, so please follow directions and stay in the area you’re meant to be in. If you head into one spot too early, like reception, you could throw off the timeline of the day. Just because you don’t see it happening doesn’t mean something is. Detail shots of the reception room are done before guests arrive, so if you place your things in the room early, your personal items will now be in the shots and could throw off the aesthetic the photographer was trying to achieve.” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“Please, for the love of God, stay at cocktail hour. I said it. I mean it in the nicest way too! If the couple has not seen the reception space, why in the world, as a guest, do you think it’s okay to go, find your seat, place your purse, your child’s backpack, and your coat at the table? This isn’t your home. The photographer probably hasn’t taken photos of the space yet. The couple wants it to be a grand reveal. Don’t make months of planning and designing messy and ruin that for her. If you have arrived early for family pictures, please do not sit at the tables in the reception space while vendors are setting up the space. It is not easy to work around you; some floral pieces have to be arranged and built on the table, a lot of tabletop decor needs to be placed perfectly, and we can’t do that when we are reaching over you. Please enjoy the apps and signature cocktails they hand-picked for their guests!” -Kelci Zicconi, Kelci Leigh Events

Don’t Touch the Gifts

“Arrange to have your wedding gift shipped to the couple’s home in advance of the wedding. Gifts need to be moved from the venue to the couple’s hotel room or home, and many times, they leave for their honeymoon right after the wedding. Also, a card filled with cash is always a touchy subject. Yes, couples love and appreciate the cash as they can spend it on things they really want or need, but, at the same time, a lost card creates a really uncomfortable conversation for everyone involved. Ideally, the couple has a secured box for all of their gift cards and has assigned someone to watch them, collect them, or hold on to them. Please avoid the urge to be helpful and handle the couple’s cards” -Tammy Waterman, Special Moments Event Planning

Don’t Change Your Table

“It may not seem like a big deal, but switching your seats at the start of the reception can potentially delay dinner service. If your seat has been assigned, there is a good reason for this. It may be obvious, like a sticker on your escort card, or it may be more discreet, but either way, there is a system in place to ensure everyone gets the correct meal in a timely manner. This is especially important for those who have dietary restrictions. By moving, you could screw up the dinner selection and throw the catering staff off. It may not seem like much, but small occurrences like this can end up delaying events like the welcome speech, formal dances, etc. Ultimately, it can cut down the party time and make things more difficult. Wait it out, and once dinner is over and dancing begins, feel free to mingle around and switch your seat!” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“Don’t complain about your assigned seat or, worse, move your seat. This can be very disruptive to the servers when a guest moves their seat, especially when guests have pre-selected their meals. The couple chose which table and possibly seat they put you in, so deal with it if you aren’t happy. You are actually only sitting for a few minutes before everyone is up and about mingling.” -Karen Cerboni, EventFull Weddings

“Listen to the seating chart. Please do not just sit at a table because you like that one better. You taking someone else’s seat (without them agreeing to trade with you) will literally mess up the entire seating chart. I have had times where I have had to ‘kick people out’ of that seat because the actual couple who was supposed to be at the table was off to the side standing because they had nowhere to go.” – Delaney Driver, Wilder Mind Events

Don’t Change Your Meal at the Reception

“We understand. Picking your dinner months in advance can be tough if you’ve never tasted the food and are unsure of the semantics of the meal. When your options are listed as ‘chicken,’ ‘beef,’ or ‘fish,’ that could mean anything. Maybe you weren’t aware that swordfish was being offered when you decided on the chicken dish, but this isn’t a regular dinner service where you can change your mind at the last minute. Event catering is a different process, and food is purchased in bulk once final orders are in. Just enough of each option is procured so that caterers have the right count and don’t overspend what they charge. When you ask the catering staff for another option than you originally stated, there’s a very good chance they won’t be able to spare it. If you’re unsure what to get, we suggest finding someone with a different selection to split your meal with so you get a little of each option. Keep in mind most meals are served with a protein option, a vegetable option (usually a vegetable medley or broccoli), and a starch option (usually mashed potatoes, homestyle potatoes, or rice.) If you’re a picky eater, don’t make too much fuss for the couple. Eat before the event and arrange to eat after if you think it might be a problem.” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“Interfering with wedding vendors by giving unsolicited advice or instructions can disrupt the smooth operation of the event. Guests should trust that the couple and their planners have thoroughly communicated their vision and preferences to the vendors. Attempting to change music selections, food service, or floral arrangements can cause confusion and delay, leading to unnecessary stress for both the couple and the vendors. It is important to respect the professionals who have been hired to execute the couple’s planned details and to refrain from imposing personal preferences or demands on them.” -Anna Shvaykova, Lead Wedding Planner, Breezin Weddings

“Do not change your entree selection at the reception because you liked what the rest of the guests got at the table instead of what you chose. Please do not argue with the waiter that you did not order that when it is clearly marked on your escort card.” -Tammy Waterman, Special Moments Event Planning

Don’t Start Dinner or Dessert Service Yourself

“Dismissing your own table for the buffet line as a guest at the wedding reception is a huge no. You are a guest. They wanted you at the wedding to celebrate their love. Be polite. The couple is served first, the family of the couple is second, and the wedding party is third. There is a method to the madness of dismissing tables, whether the DJ is helping or the planner is coming to each and every table. You shouldn’t be starving; you had an hour of lovely apps, with most likely a grazing table and beverages. Wait your turn.” -Kelci Zicconi, Kelci Leigh Events

“For the love of God, don’t put your fingers in the dessert displays until the cake is cut or it’s announced that the desserts are open. This sounds silly, but if you are the first person to do it, everyone else will too. I have had a couple who wanted photos with their dessert display, and by the time they got to it, half of the desserts were gone.” -Delaney Driver, Wilder Mind Events

“Wedding guests should not help themselves to the dessert station before the couple has cut the cake. Don’t take the fizzle out of the couple’s moment to announce the cake cutting and that dessert is being served. Cutting the cake is a special moment and signals the beginning of dessert service.” -Karen Cerboni, EventFull Weddings

Don’t Bother the Couple During Dinner

“Wedding days are long, especially for the couple as they usually have to be ready hours before the event for pictures, travel, etc. By the time they’ve reached dinner, they most likely haven’t eaten for a few hours, and pre-ceremony jitters could mean it wasn’t much, if at all. Let them enjoy their meal while you enjoy yours! This is most likely their first real meal of the day, and they need all the fuel they can get if they want to have a blast during dancing!” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“Wedding guests should leave the couple alone during dinner. Respect the fact that they have had a long and very busy day, and this is probably the first time they have sat down in hours. They personally chose the food they like, paid a lot for it, and are probably starving. Let them have a moment to sit back, take a breath, and finish their dinner before approaching them. There will be plenty of time to wish them well after they eat.” -Karen Cerboni, EventFull Weddings

“Do not bother the couple while they are eating their dinner. You have after-dinner, the dance floor, and even the after-party to see and chat with them. You get to enjoy your dinner, let them enjoy theirs.” -Kelci Zicconi, Kelci Leigh Events

Don’t Give A Long Speech (Or Disrupt Them)

“Don’t give long-winded toasts! We have seen toasts that are at longest 30 minutes long, whattttt?! No one wants to sit for that long and listen to you take up the reception, which is typically three to four hours long.  Keep it short and sweet; funny is ok, but be kind! One to three minutes is the acceptable length of time that will be awesome and memorable.” – Carrie Wildes, Carrie Wildes Photography

“Keep the speech short and sweet and, most importantly, about the couple and their love. Speeches always tend to be more of a history lesson or sound like you’re at a funeral talking about the past or fun times that have nothing to do with the spouse. Also, my favorite saying is, ‘If you aren’t on my timeline to make a speech, you aren’t making a speech.’ Sounds harsh, right? Maybe it is, but we have lots of drunk guests who think they need to say a few words and join the speech train, and it kills the vibe or ends up being extremely awkward/uncomfortable for everyone and the couple. Let me know if you want to hear a great wedding speech story.” -Amanda Biery, The Olive Tree Weddings

“During toasts, thank you speeches, and formal dances, quiet your table conversations and make sure your phone is on silent. During a sentimental moment or pause in a toast, the last thing we want to hear is a disruptive conversation or inappropriate topic/word that’s heard throughout the room.” -Amber Schryver, Oh My Occasions

“Guests who want to be the center of attention are my arch nemesis. Don’t scream and shout during the ceremony, first dance, speeches, or really any of the important/sentimental moments. Our couples pay so much money for photography and video; I promise that no one wants to hear your ‘WOOOO YEAHHHHH’ or vulgar screaming in their first dance video when they look back at that moment. We have had people stand up on chairs and shout during intimate moments. Like….why? There is no need to make a special moment ‘funny’ or take the attention away from the couple and towards a wedding guest.” -Amanda Biery, The Olive Tree Weddings

Don’t Overserve Yourself

“Please, people, don’t act like this is the first time you’ve been to an open bar. The couple, wedding planner, and venue coordinator have worked tirelessly to make sure everything goes smoothly, and the last thing they need is someone grabbing the microphone or falling on the dance floor. Save the couple some stress, and drink responsibly!” -Cindy Dervech, Breezin’ Entertainment

“Don’t get drunk. Overly intoxicated people take the focus off the couple, can cause damage, and can be an embarrassment for the couple and their families. Don’t be that person. It’s a night for grown-ups, and guests should behave accordingly.” -Karen Cerboni, EventFull Weddings

“More and more wedding venues are choosing not to allow shots or limit the number of drinks a person can get at one time. It’s not the bartender’s decision, and it’s something the couple knew when they booked the venue. So, please don’t harass the bartender or make a scene. Also, don’t take your drinks onto the dance floor! If I had a dollar for every time we had to clean up broken glass and spilled drinks on a dance floor filled with people in bare feet, we could retire,” -Tammy Waterman, Special Moments Event Planning

“I have seen so many guests drop the glasses of their drinks on the dance floor. Not only is that a safety hazard, but it stops the dance floor vibes because a clean-up needs to be made.” -Amanda Biery, The Olive Tree Weddings

“Don’t get sloppy. We love an open bar as much as the next person does, but if you are a sloppy drunk or aggressive drunk, tone it down. We are all adults here, and this is still a formal event. Have your fun, but know your limits.” -Delaney Driver, Wilder Mind Events

Don’t Steal the Spotlight

“Weddings are one of the few occasions where generations of family members gather together to celebrate and catch up with one another. This is often a rare opportunity, and the urge to make announcements/do something special is a hard one to resist. Even so, this day is about the happy couple celebrating their union. Unless you ask the couple ahead of time and they approve, do not assume it is okay to announce your pregnancy or propose to your significant other regardless of your relation to them. If they say they would rather not have your special moment happen during their event, respect that decision. There are 364 other days of the year to share the big news. Let the couple have the day that they worked so hard to set up.” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

Don’t Take the Decor

“Florals for a wedding can be absolutely stunning, and once the event is over, why would anyone want them to go to waste? While most florists are fine letting guests take flowers home, always ask before taking the centerpieces or decor. While the flowers are fine to take, the container could be a rental that the couple would be held responsible for if one were to go missing. Always ask a vendor; most florists will return at the end of the night to collect the items before taking anything away from the event. If you can’t find a vendor with an answer, ask the couple, their parents, or someone in the bridal party before running off and potentially costing the couple more money.” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

Don’t Stay at the Venue After the Wedding Has Ended

“For every vendor you see working an event, and even the venue itself, there is a contract that the couple has signed stating a start and end time of their event. Once the time has come, guests should leave the reception promptly. That doesn’t mean the party can’t continue elsewhere, but things need to wrap up in the current location. The venue and vendors all have a contracted end time, and if you stick around the venue to chat with family or ask the DJ to play ‘one more song,’ you are pushing those times, which could lead to the couple being charged overtime fees. If a reception ends at an earlier time or if you feel like you’ll want to spend the entire night celebrating, make plans for once the event ends, and don’t overstay your welcome. As the song goes, ‘You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.’ -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

Do Be A Nice Human

“Be nice and respectful to the vendors. We are humans and are there to happily serve you so that you have an awesome wedding experience. If you have special requests or questions, ask respectfully and kindly. We are all more than happy to serve you, but when you demand and are rude about things, it will not get you very far. Bonus point: if you see a staff member going above and beyond, compliment them! It is so nice to hear positive feedback from guests, and that will literally make their week!” -Delaney Driver, Wilder Mind Events

“It takes a team to get an event like a wedding to run smoothly, and as vendors and venue coordinators, we want everything to go well, not only for the couple but also for the guests. We’ve been working on this event for weeks (sometimes even months) prior and have become familiar with the ins and outs of the timeline, details etc. So, if a vendor asks you to leave the bar at cocktail hour and head to the reception or to please take your seat for the ceremony, it’s not because they want to be difficult. We want to make sure everything goes as planned, so please follow any directions given by the staff. Don’t forget that everyone working at the event is human, too. If something isn’t going your way or you’re upset, a lot of the time, the employees currently working are doing what was instructed by the couple, per their wishes. So, if you’re asked to step away from the bar (this is one of the hardest places to pry guests from), please don’t take it out on the wedding staff member who was given the task. We’re all there to make sure the couple has the best day ever, and as their guest, that should be respected.” -Melanie Eubanks, Lemon Drops Weddings & Events

“Remember that all vendors and staff who work events are human too! Please be kind to staff, be responsible with your alcohol, and try to remember this day is about the couple, and they are the priority! Staff are there to assist and problem solve, but deserve as much respect and patience as much as they give to you as guests.” Lauren Gertz, MDP Events

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About the Author

Anna Coats

Marry Me Tampa Bay editor Anna Coats created Marry Me Tampa Bay in 2012 to showcase the area’s best local weddings and vendors. She has been featured as a wedding expert on the national talk show Daytime, Fox13, ABC Action News, Great Day Tampa Bay, and Bay News 9 (now Spectrum).

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